Finns Myth

I was in Finland. Friends asked me why to go to Finland, and I told them I was going to escape the sun. And, my family probably had no idea where I was! When I was traveling northern Finland, friends showed me places while we were driving, she said "Behind the trees, is the sea...Behind the trees, where my uncle lives...Behind the trees, there is a city called..." It seems that the entire country is BEHIND THE TREES. And I told them, everything in Hong kong is about the same but they are just BEHIND THE BULIDING.

Heterophobic Bar

Some years ago, I went for an internship as an assistant lighting designer for my department heard for a performance in the Shakespeare festival in Stratford, Canada. Stratford, sure, it is an oh-my-god place, I met wonderful people in this small town/ city, and from this festival. The only thing you can see is all about the plays there, all these plays are perfectly well done. However, no matter it is during, before or after the Shakespeare festival, this little town is so quite. I basically worked everyday, not really, actually. I just sit behind John, my department head, making notes. I was so bored in this town. It is totally straight, except the backstage, of course. I was asking a stage manger in our backstage team, where we could find a bar in Stratford. “a gay bar in Stratford?! Boy, you gotta go to Toronto. There is hardly a trendy bar around here.” Said the stage manger. “You know I’m kinda heterophobic. I can’t get into those local bar and get a guy…” I said. “Heterophopic?! There is no such an adjective.haha. what do you mean by that?” “You know, if we could have homophobic, when those straight guys saying, they don’t want to hang around with gay people, why I can’t just get heterophobic which suits my situation. You know, I’m not very comforty with them neither. Might be not so serious like refuse them…just like I am not so comfortable with those sport bars filled with straight people throwing strange judgmental eye once I got in the bar.” I explained. “Ha-ha!! You are right! So, what exactly that heterophobia will affect?” “Well, basically, I can’t see straight thing, I want to bend them! Bend! Bend! Bend them all.”

From

Orangephobia

to

“be Gay”

I hate orange. I can eat it, once I do that, I vomit. I do not even want to touch it. Everytime, when my friend finds out this “funny” phobia of mine. They, of course, would expect some explanations.

When I was little, my father was a butcher. 20 years ago, all of the markets were wet and dirty in Hong Kong. When it rained, I hated it because the hawkers in the street just threw the dirt wherever they wanted; dead animal, ruined fruits, unprofitable animal organs, paper boxes…etc. What a horrible image!

In front of me, the rain became muddy and grey, but the color of orange was still eye-catching among the dirt. Every time when I came to this memory, how I could eat. Also, the texture of orange was so strange from the other fruits. For me, the structure of the orange is so much alike the muscle. However, the funny thing is, I can drink orange juice with no problem. It is probably because I do not have to touch, hold and feel the texture of the orange. This is a little fear of mine.

And now, let’s speak about phobia. I do believe everyone has some kinds fear. When I check up the dictionary, I find that (oh my god!) we have 165 different kinds of phobias founded in wikipedia.org (a free online encyclopedia). We really have a lot of things to fear nowadays. I have friends have claustrophobia (fear of defined space).

Connie, her level of this phobia is not very serious that she just prefers walking or taking a bus than getting the metro. She always runs the closest exit in the metro to get out.

There is friend, he has ever, never taken and metro or subway because he cannot breath seriously. There is another one, that’s little funny for me that he does like to step on the zebra cross and the partition of the road, so his gait is like dancing. I think we all have friends like this. There are many kinds of phobia, some of them are really unusual: Trisderkaderkaphobia , is Fear of the number 13; Ergophobia - Fear of work; Clinophobia - Fear of beds; Phobophobia- Fear of fear.

~Nice Homophobic experience~

However, what I want to say is that phobia has different levels. It can be fear to death or “try not to see”.

Long time ago, when I was 16, I left home; I became independent that I studied and work on my own. At my 17, I got accepted by the theatre academy in Hong Kong since then I could apply for the government loan. That was pain in the proverbial. I had an interview with the government officer in order to explain my situation.

I had got a letter from my principle and my school consulate from my high school that they proved that my father had really kicked me out of his house. During the interview, the interviewer who did not show much concern on the violence of my father that I had already warmed her. She insisted to call my father, and the response of my father was not nice: “Fxxk you! Please don’t Fxxking call, I don’t have a son. Even I have one, I don’t care!!! Don’t fxxking call again!”

However, she could not find out the reason why my father kicked me out, and then she pushed me to tell the “truth”. I told her that’s like most of the teenage issue and my father and I had very different opinion, and he didn’t want me to be the way I wanted to be.

This answer of course was not sufficient for the bureaucratic procedure. After being pushed for 30 minutes, I simply replied “Ok, you want to story right? The story is, I am gay and he does not what me to be, so, he kicked me out. End of story.”

I would never forget that moment in my life. She just remained silence for few seconds once I told the “truth”. Her offensive and aggressive voice turned into a careful and diplomatic tone, she moaned “ah?!.....m…m”. Then we came to another moment of dead silence. “Would you mind writing down the problem with your father on the paper and until your recent state, then I will send you to one of my colleague to whom you will swear your announcement. After, we will analysis your case.” “What? All of them? How? I left home since a year ago!” I asked with a shocking voice? She then told me to note down the “important” points and she would take me to her colleague.

After 2 hours of writing, I finally pointed out the “importance”, I come to anther open office where had no wall so that everyone could hear what I was going to announce. This officer wasn’t ready there would be a person come to announce something.

When I began my “speech” he was still working on his stuff. Obviously, I was young, and I didn’t really care. I then spoke out loudly, “I am Wong chi-yung, HK-ID number XXXXXXXX, I am here to swear that ………………………;” Everyone was still working quietly, until I came to “I am homosexual and my father does not like it and he asked me to leave his family on the date of ……”

Here I performed a miracle like some kinds of god that everyone paused at once in a government building. This officer turned his heard from the paper he was working on and interrupted me, “She asked you to write this?” “Excuse me, I haven’t finished. Would you let me? Just a few lines…ok?...mmm where am I? Yes, here!...” I then continued “….and now I am in government building for the student grand and loan, an officer asked me to announce my homosexuality in front of everyone. Thank you for your attention. The End.”

Few months later, I got the result of the application that I had got the full grant and loan for my study. Most of my school friends could not even get half of it; they then asked me how I could get it. I simply told them “Be gay!”

The Chocolate Theory

Internet: a place for shitting from the mouth.

Internet: a place to see the true human nature.

A society is developed by individual and fluid-like correspondence. The internet is obviously another kind of society or nation. Internet is so hyper.

Let’s me show you some facts. There are plenty of chat rooms online, where you can make a profile and kind of ‘promote’ yourself. There is one I used for long time, called, face-pic.com, where you can ‘label’ yourself into some categories, such as straight or gay. In my profile, I note that I am gay and I am looking for conversation. Time to time, I’ve got message from all different kind of people, mostly gay of course and even girls just want to chat.

Since internet is really a hard-core manner-less place, if people are not interested in chatting with one, they might just ignore you or sometimes, you have really ‘real’ respond, such as ‘you are not in my type’. “Type”, what is that? As soon as we have agreed to put in these categories like a big supermarket, “a net of relativity” will automatically occur. But, what type means?

Have a look here. This guy, he writes that he is merely looking for westerner, and he insists that he would not like to receive and message from any Asian guy? Is he the only one? Have a look in the other profile, here. These 2 guys nearly have the same comment that they insist that Asian are not their type. Is this is ok just about a chat preference or sexual preference. It wouldn’t be a big deal, would it?

The deal becomes big, until I tried to send a message to a person who does not write that he was not looking for an Asian chat. For me chat is a chat, of course, sometimes, I might end up something else, such as a further relationship or sex.

I sent a message in which I wrote “bonjour, you wanna chat?”. He replied that “sorry I am not into Asian. Au revoir.” I then look at the colour of my hand; I never, ever, found my hand is so “yellow” until there was a white person he said he was not “into” Asian. Instantly, I felt offended. I asked him what would the problem in a conversation dealing with Asian. He said “This is my preference, I am white and I am looking for white people. I don’t want to offend you. It is just like, I choose a cup of coffee or chocolate.” He sounded perfectly right, but I just didn’t feel so right. Why he has the power to ‘choose’ but not me? Why he first set a position that he can choose? i then sent him a message that I said, “since when a conversation is depended on the colour of the skin and you assume that your colour is dominant to the other?” He replied “Might be your English is not good enough to understand me” I was “amused” by what he had just shited from him mouth. He wrote “I am not into Asian”, “into” this adverb, we normally use for following a thing and object. Since when the entire Asian ethic becomes a fetish that just for certain people who would like to contact with?

This kind of conversation, it didn't happen once. However, I could hardly hear of any the-other-way-round conversation has happened. Long time ago, I saw a experimental film called “Some questions for 28 kisses", produced and & directed by Kip Fulbeck. This 7-minutes film is montage of different clips from the Hollywood films. We can see a lot of fragments of the film in which the Caucasian men flirt, kiss or save different Asian women. What does it mean? And how many film we can see an Asian guy kiss, save, flirt with a Caucasian woman? What is the ideology behind these Hollywood films? Is that the “chocolate theory?”

And why we would choose chocolate instead of coffee?

There is a metaphor; there is 2 kinds of tea in the supermarket, the Tea A, is managed by the big company which has done a lot of publicity on television, on poster in the metro, and the poster on the bus. Etc. On the other side, Tea B, is actually the same tea, but it has no publicity at all. In this supermarket, these 2 teas are now in fort of you, what would you choose? I don’t have to say how the media control what we need here. If humanity is really all about ‘imitation’, so, what the society is telling us to ‘become’ and to ‘choose’? Are we really consciously ‘choosing’ and ‘doing’ what we really determine to? Remember, personality is partly modified by our surrounding.

The un-ture Truth 

The un-ture Truth

I think of a day. The day that I realized I was born alone and I would die alone. Some friends told me that was not true. I don’t see the truth anyway. I was sitting at home, not thinking, not working, not eating and not doing anything. Simply, blank. There was a lot of moment I was blank since I came to France. I spent whole day reading jokes online and chatting online. There is a guy, by some reasons; he got my username in www.gaydar.co.uk. He sent me a message in which he told me, since many years ago, he had been reading the text I wrote on that profile and coming to see my performances which I did the design. He simply described he’s a ‘fan’ of mine. I immediately came up two feeling; weird and happy. I am just a lighting designer, and yes I performed on stage for some experimental theatres in my early study. Why I could be admired? However, he told me that he never had the courage to speak to me even I appeared in front of him and he found that sending a message online which came more decent. In the end of the message he wrote, “by the way, I am not gay.”

Sugar-daddy

Je me rappelle avoir eu quelques mauvaises expériences de rencontre avec certaines personnes. Sur Internet, Il m'est arrivé de recevoir quelques messages offensants. Dans mon profil sur www.gaydar.co.uk j'ai écrit clairement que je ne recherche pas de sexe mais la conversation, mais je reçois souvent des messages me demandant combien je coûte. Cela m'a vraiment gêné que parce que ces gens pensent que la plupart des Asiatiques gays se prostituent ou recherchent le Sugar-daddy (quelqu'un pour les entretenir) dans un pays caucasien. Une fois, un homme américain de 50 ans m'a envoyé un message pour me demander de vivre avec lui aux Etats-Unis et il allait payer tout pour moi. Est-ce que ce n'est pas bizarre ? Oui, cela est très bizarre pour moi. À ce moment là, je l'ai juste ignoré, plus tard ; j'ai constaté que le mythe urbain n'en était pas un, certains de mes amis ont reçu des messages de personnes asiatiques demandant de l'argent pour se déplacer dans leur pays et vivre avec eux. C'est déprimant, mais, qui est le problème? Le sugar-daddy ou le sugar-boy?

Suis-je l'un parmi d'eux?

Son nom était Régis, 27. Un étudiant en arts à la Sorbonne. Nous sommes sortis prendre un café ; nous avons commencé à discuter simplement.

Tout à coup, quelque chose de choquant est sortie de sa petite bouche. « J'ai un ami qui m'a dit que tous les asiatiques sont des salops.»

J’ai presque recraché mon café en entendant ceci et puis, j'ai crié légèrement. « C’est qui ? »

« J'ai un ami, le petit ami de son ami était un Asiatique, il a volé l'argent de l'ami de mon ami et il s’en est allé. »

« Qui est ce petit ami ? » Ai-je répliqué.

« Je ne sais pas ! » A-t-il répondu.

« Et qui est l'ami de son ami ? » Ai-je demandé.

« Je ne sais pas ! » At-il répondu sur le même ton.

Dans cette discutions ridicule, J'ai affirmé, « Tu me parles d’un des petits amis de l'ami de ton ami que tu n'as jamais vu, et tu me dis que cet Inconnu était un Asiatique, qu'il a volé de l'argent à l'ami de ton ami que tu n'as également pas connu. Et maintenant, les gens qui vivent de l'autre côté de la terre sont simplement des salops à cause de ce cas unique. »

Il s'est rendu compte que j'étais fâché à cause de ce qu'il avait dit, il a alors dit, « Haha, je plaisantais. »

« Je suis désolé, je ne trouve pas ça amusant! Il y a beaucoup de plaisanteries, et celle-ci est une plaisanterie raciste. » Ai-je affirmé.

« Tu n'es pas drôle ! » A-t-il dit.

« Je peux te dire que certains t'auraient déjà giflé pour ce que tu viens de dire. » Lui ai-je répondu. « Allons ! Tu exagères... ! »

À ce moment la, mon autre ami de l'autre côté de la table a dit, « Il est Français, laisse tomber ! » ce qui le mis en colère.

« Voila, vois-tu maintenant ce qu'est une plaisanterie raciste ? » Ai-je dis.

Est-ce que c'est correct que nous distinguions la personne qui est raciste ?

Je veux parler du spectacle « Avenue Q » à Broadway. « L'Avenue Q » est une comédie musicale qui a commencé le printemps dernier au Vineyard Theatre. Les personnages sont des marionnettes démesurées, mais il ne s'agit pas d'un théâtre de marionnettes. Celles-ci sont manipulées par un où deux marionnettistes visibles qui donnent la voix et l'expression faciale.

L'Avenue Q est l'histoire de Princeton, un diplômé d'université, mignon de sa personne, qui vient à New York avec de grands rêves mais un compte bancaire minuscule. Il découvre bientôt que le seul endroit de résidence qui correspond à ses moyens est l'avenue Q ; en tout cas, les voisins semblent gentils. Il y a Brian, le comédien au chômage et sa fiancée, la thérapeute ; Nicky, l'âme charitable et son compagnon de chambre, Rod - un banquier d'affaires républicain qui semble cacher un secret ; un fanatique d'Internet appelé Trekkie Monster ; et une aide d'enseignement de jardin d'enfants très mignonne appelée Kate. Ensemble, Princeton et ses nouveaux amis se battent pour trouver du travail, faire des rencontres, et donner un but à leur vie.

L'Avenue Q est un spectacle qui convient aux adolescents parce qu'il est ouvert sur la vraie vie. Ce spectacle ne s'adresse pas de jeunes enfants parce qu'il aborde des questions quotidiennes e tc. c'est ce qui a fait sa renommée ; en utilisant les marionnettes célèbres de l'émission d'enfant, Le Sesame Street, il traite de thèmes sensibles comme le sexe, la pornographie, l'homosexualité…etc. On dit que c'est un Sesame Street pour adultes.

Il n'y a aucun doute que l'Avenue Q a abordé beaucoup de sujets polémiques. Je voudrais parler d’une des chansons ici : «Everyone is a little bit racist» (Tout le monde est un petit peu raciste). Vous pouviez lire à l'adresse suivante la totalité